A bit of progress.

Well as they say, "A rolling stone gathers no moss"...and as they don't say: getting that damn stone to roll, can sometimes be hard as hell.

I have however, realized a bit of progress over the past week after trying to get the weight loss momentum started over the course of the past month has been difficult. But good things come to those who wait, and last night/ this morning, I saw that the scales had finally moved in a way that I could recognize. I am now 190.4. This may not mean a lot to some people reading this, but it does to me.I agree with the guy whose article I read online about the decimal on your scales making a difference to you psychologically. I really does. I think that all told heaviest time this time, was about 195 or 194. So this makes me happy. I hope to be solidly in the 180s soon, and then so on.

I want to be 150 again and maybe beyond if I can be tenacious and not let things get to me. Splurg occasionally but keep things in perspective and proportion. I have been trying to drink diet coke and more water and fewer frappucinos less often, substituting when I can for regular black coffee. 1500 is still the calorie goal, and i try to exercise when I can, either walking or going to the school gym and using the elliptical machine and lifting weights.I will not be taken down so easily. This is bigger than me, bigger than now. I have so much to prove to myself and, indirectly, to others. So "here I go again on my own...and I've made up my mind, I ain't wastin' no more time." These first few pounds, hopefully one small step for mankind, one giant leap for Jenny.

Yes, Jillian.

I have picked up my Jillian Michaels book again and have started reading. I really want to make progress and she seems like perhaps the lady that can help me do it. I have done two days of her work out dvd called 30 day shred. She and Bob Harper (whom I also greatly admire) are both trainers on the show The Biggest Loser.




Well I was doing alright with this, 3 days in a row for her DVD but then yesterday I was stressing out over a paper that was due, and my muscles felt so sore that I watched Hamlet (that is what the paper is on) instead. So on Thursday I took a break from the DVD. But Friday I went right back to it. She is right that some of the moves in the workout get easier the more you do them, however, I still find myself doing the pushups on my knees and not my toes and my knees feel awful when doing certain exercises. But if I dont pass out after, then I do feel strong when I do the exercises.

I have been trying to read more of the book which is hard with school things to do, and with the first few chapters being focused on change from the inside out, they tend to be ones that you can only take a little at a time anyway, if you really are trying to absorb what she is saying.

I would recommend Jillian to anyone, she is tough, but she has helped alot of people lose a lot of weight. Maybe she will help me.

The latest on the Weightloss front

That title makes me feel important. as if I am a journalist from behind enemy lines talking about a war whose title ends in "storm" or "shield." but alas I have no such aspirations. I merely would like to put a stop to the extra poundage advancing across my ass. Things have been stressful for the past week or so. I have been studying for comps and taking them, and my baby hasn't been feeling too good health-wise, and money has been a little scarce. Actually the last one kind of works in my favor, as it forces me to eat at home and make conscious decisions about what I put into my body. Therefore, with the initial stressfulness my weight was starting to creep up, but with the onset of more stress, it has gone down again. Not the healthiest way to lose weight but then I dont think that the 4 pounds I lost the wrong way is going to make me need sally struthers or a sponsor. (Sorry, that was a horrible joke that half of you may not get because you are too young to remember). Anyway, as I was saying, so I have lost some. Oh and I have been trying to buy better things to eat at home, as I got my report back from the Dr. recently and I had only lowered my LDL cholesterol by a few points. He said to keep trying and to follow the diet handout that they had given me and exercise would help lower it too.
He also added as an after thought, "Oh and losing weight would help as well." Ha! You and me both want it then buddy.
I feel as though I am making progress. I am more conscious of what I am putting in my body. And I try to find healthier ways to prepare things, with my fat free milk and cheese and heart healthy spread and whole grains. I am trying. I still need a hormel shelf stable turkey dinner with gravy sometimes (so good!) but I am trying. I even bought a two liter of diet coke, that I actually drank. I need to watch my intake of baked goods and packaged foods, but I think I am making baby steps. With all the food allergies out there now I have been trying to eat more organic foods which makes be feel better. I think that my mom was surprised last night. As we were collaborating on Thanksgiving dinner on the phone, i was telling her that I could bring organic mashed potatoes and organic green beans. I also asked if beacause I want to make pumpkin pie this year if she cared if I substituted whole wheat flour and heart-healthy spread for regular flour and crisco. I think that she was surprised to say the least. But she had no problems with it. So I will do my best to find a good pumpkin pie recipe, and bon-apetit!

Breaking the string of Yo-yo dieting...or why the hell am i this fat?

Ok, so the weight loss was short-lived. I knew it would and could be but I hoped it wasnt. The simple fact is that I like to eat. I eat when I am happy I eat when I am sad, I eat when I am pissed off and i eat when I am sick. And frankly I have been sick for over a month now. I have had some kind of nagging throat pain and nasal post-drip shit for weeks and weeks. It is the kind of illness that doesnt make you feel bad enough to die, just to pray for death. So here I am on my second round of antibiotics a z-pak to be sure. I was taking some other cycline that was not doing anything, but now I am feeling a little better, I went to the gym yesterday for the first time in weeks yesterday. To offset my pity party Mcdonlds that I had because my paper for class is late and I have lost my train of thought and have no idea where the freak I am. If you are a praying person please pray for me and my paper. I only have tonight to finish it, so I best go. But if I have good news regarding this I will write. I am hoping to go to the gym again on Friday. But I must write seven pages tonight. So until later. adieu.